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First dates are always nerve-racking no matter what the circumstances are. But imagine being asked out on a first date – to a wedding? It’s rare, sure, but sometimes life throws us into situations where we have to sink or swim. And let’s be honest, if you are ready to go on a wedding date with someone, you probably deem them swim-worthy. But this really is a once-in-a-lifetime situation, and in case you need some help wrapping your head around it, here are some guidelines:

Don’t overthink it
As soon as you got the text, you probably started analyzing every single detail and interpreting it in all the wrong ways. Does this mean they want to get married soon? Do they always need the approval of their family and this was the best occasion? Do they only need a date, so people wouldn’t ask them why they’re single? Am I supposed to catch the bouquet? What if I like them and want to catch it? Breathe. You’re overthinking it. Maybe they are too nervous and want the support of people they know. Maybe their family pressured them to bring a date, and they thought you’d be sweet and understanding. The point is that it’s just a date, and if you think there’s some subtext, you can just ask them about it.

Dress to impress… slightly
There’s an art to dressing for weddings, and it’s not an easy one to master. You should definitely follow the usual wedding attire rules, but you should also do your best not to stick out too much. If your date is someone important at the wedding, like a sibling or cousin of the couple, you will probably be getting quite a bit of attention, so you don’t want to be attracting all of the attention away from the bride. Be beautiful, yet classy, and make sure you check beforehand what the dress code is.

Get to know them beforehand
If this is going to be your first date, you don’t want to learn in the middle of the party that he has a trait you definitely don’t approve of. If you’re someone who dislikes first dates because of situations like those, these are great first date tips for you. Text them a lot – more than you normally would before a date, but hey, they asked you out to a wedding, you have that right! And if you have some deal breakers that might come up during the wedding, try to casually discuss them beforehand. Next, find out info about their friends. We all do a little bit of Facebook stalking before the first date, but if you are going to be meeting a lot of their family and friends, you might want to take a peek at what they’re like as well. If you have mutual friends, milk them for all the info they can give you.

Keep a conversational balance
Yes, you are there for them, and they are very aware that you are their date. But, they will want to talk with other people at your table and at the wedding in general, and you want to show that you are outgoing and friendly. So when you are mingling, don’t just stare at your date or at the floor while they are talking with friends, strike up a conversation yourself. If you two crazy kids continue dating, you will be seeing those people a lot, and you don’t want them to think you’re antisocial. But make sure you don’t go overboard and focus only on the people around you, give your date some attention too. It’s your first date and you should act like it, by getting to know them and having fun together.

And if all else fails, at least you get to dress up pretty, eat some cake and break it down on the dance floor. Don’t worry, weddings are full of the craziest emotional roller coasters, and your will be just one of many. So relax and simply think of it as a fancy, first date party.

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